Follow up

This morning I had a follow up meeting with Ledger’s intervention team. I walked into our scheduled meeting the there were only two people there. Our clinical supervisor and his speech therapist from intervention. The meeting started as usual – with me stating any concerns or requests. I told them the only thing that I can seem to think about lately. The one thing that is consuming my life – September. They nod with an extended blink and give me the yes, we are trying our best smirk. The mood is quite somber and I am expecting them to say that they are prepared to try their best but that he may not make the gains he needs and that other children can make…
But instead, the clinical supervisor sits up excitedly and begins to speak. She tells me that although Ledger is not making huge gains, the smaller steps are starting to show. His engagement is improving, his vocabulary is expanding, he is showing more personality than before, and is even showing excitement towards his peers. For many parents, this is so easy and expected of children. But for Ledger, all of these things have been (and continue to be) so difficult for him. It was so awesome to sit and hear some positive comments even if they are the smallest little gains.
Since our diagnosis 3.5 years ago we have set up quite a team of professionals from ASWs, intervention specialists, OTs, SLPs, preschool, and of course our family and friends. We all want the best for Ledger as we are all working towards that goal of trying to get him prepared for school in September. Often times I wonder if I am pushing him too hard. It makes me reflect on my expectations and I often feel guilty that even though I have provided so much support he isn’t getting a lot of time just to be a kid. I get looks, I get eyes rolled at me, I get stares. I ask a lot of him and I am very strict with him but only because I want better for him. I want to make sure he can make all of the gains that he can even if they are the tiniest gains and expectations of neuro typical children. He works hard, and so does everyone else on our team and I couldn’t be more proud of who he is and all of the small gains he has made.