Not your typical post

So, I’ve held back a few days on writing this post for several reasons…one being that the boys have been super busy and keeping me on my toes, but mainly because I wanted to allow myself to cool down before I used words that I might wish I hadn’t.
This is not the typical post that I have been writing. As I’ve mentioned before, I try to capture fun and happy memories, although I have also shared a few of the frustrating days. But it’s not the autism per say that I am frustrated with this time. On Wednesday, I got a call from Ledgers case manager. I often do, just as a “checking in” call to see how things are going. This call started the same way. I told her we go day to day and we’re managing and getting by. She asked about our opinion on his progress and I told her that we have seen very little in the past few months. To be honest I feel as if we may be regressing. She agreed with me and said that since they have lost their OT services, they can’t seem to get much out of him. Here is the kicker. She then proceeded to ask me if I had specific suggestions or tasks to work on because they (that’s right, the professionals!) were running out of ideas for him. I very calmly, asked her if she could speak to the director about cases that they have had with similar clients to our boy. We ended the conversation at that, and in good terms.
Since hanging up, I have been building and busting with feelings of anxiety and frustration. I realize that he is on the low functioning high needs end of the spectrum, but this conversation made me feel as if they have exhausted their sources and have nothing left to offer our son. If anything he has some of the greatest needs and they don’t know what to do. This is not a new service and I find it hard to believe that in the years they have been operating that they have never encountered a child like ours.
Since our conversation just two days ago I left left a voice message and an email for the director to contact me but have not heard back; I spent over an hour at our community autism centre trying to find out if there were other options to help our son but there isn’t in our city; I called a psychologist in a near by town who we’ve been waiting to see and got an appointment for September; contacted a new speech department and waiting for a call back from them; and lastly, I started researching services in Alberta, and reaching out to families who have packed up and done the same.
It breaks my heart to think that the only service available for Ledger is running out of ideas on how to help him. I don’t want to leave, but if the only service here has done what they can with him, then do I have any other option? If it means helping our sweet boy and giving him a better future, I’ll start packing tonight…